Porn Addiction: Is It An Extra Marital Affair

Most people would not consider an addiction to fall into the category of an extra marital affair, however, a porn addiction is just that…an extra marital affair. In order to grasp this concept you have consider all aspects that factor into an affair such as the fear of being caught, doing something you should not be doing, feeling guilty for hurting loved ones, spending excess money, the anxiety when you are away from the “affair” and the pain you feel both from the affair and the pain you have caused others. All of which are components of an affair and all of these are the same feelings that come with an addiction to porn.

When you are involved with a sexual relationship outside of the marriage, the sex is typically inflated or takes on a new value. It is a “conquest” and a feeling of power all combined into one jumble of emotions. When you are addicted to pornography, you experience these same feelings of power or a conquest and the sexual rousts between you and your spouse will initially intensify and gradually will diminish. This is due to the thoughts that you have subconsciously created of being more gratified through viewing porn than with your spouse, so either you gradually pull away or your spouse will begin to recognize that there is a problem and pull away from you.

When you are having an extra martial affair, there is always going to be fear. The fear of being caught, the fear of being abandoned by the one you are having an affair, the fear of the consequences and the fear of losing your family, job and respect. This fear is also a recognized sign of porn addiction. All of the fears associated with an outside marital affair are the same fears a porn addict feels each time they buy a magazine or access their favorite site.

False promises are also a part of the equation during an affair. You may promise the other person that you are going to leave your family, you may promise your family you are going to end the affair or you may promise yourself that it will never happen again. A porn addict is notorious for making the exact same false promises. You will promise yourself that you will not access a site every again or that you will cut back, you will promise your family that you will get off of the computer and become more involved with the family. But, they are false promises, that will not cease until you recognize that you are having an affair and seek help to end the relationship.

Addicts live in their own isolated world, a world that revolves around their self gratification, a world of lies, false promises and fear. If you find yourself neglecting your family, friends, job and yourself for the mere pleasure of accessing a porn site, you may have an addiction to porn. You may be having an extra martial affair, although it may be a relationship with yourself, it is a relationship that will eventually ruin your home life, your career and your self-esteem, unless you seek treatment for the addiction and learn how to break off the extra marital relationship with yourself.

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