What’s our first response when someone asks to forgive someone?
“Forgiving somebody? Oh, no. I’d rather come out better than him, or get revenge. Forgiving someone is what a loser would do. I am certainly not going to forgive him, instead, I want revenge. I’ll hang on to this hatred until he bows his head to me.”
This is the usual response when we tell someone to forgive someone else, or are asked personally for forgiveness. However, because forgiveness is often thought of as “weak”, people tend to assume you’d be a loser to go along with it.
Understanding Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a not a weakness. Forgiveness is the most courageous action one can take to solve a problem or an issue. But only very intelligent understands this. The real loser is the one who never forgive. He carries all the negativity in his heart which destroys him like fire destroys wood.
Have you ever observed a person who does not forgive, and who constantly sulks in their negative feelings? Have you observed a person who is lighthearted and takes things easy, and who doesn’t hesitate to forgive? Who lives better? The people who carry hatred usually attract very little love, and they usually replace this with drugs, alcohol, or pornography.
The lighthearted person forgives and lives a sane, gentle life. They do not need porn or drugs to find happiness, as they have no negative feelings to form a need for it. They have no hateful feelings to bear, so they can live easily, unhindered.
The general perception about forgiveness is that when we forgive, we are losing. This is not true. When you are forgiving, you are winning.
Forgiving Intelligently
Forgiving everybody requires great wisdom and courage. However, you may not believe you are capable just yet. Start by forgiving your closest allies first, like your parents, siblings, neighbors, etc. I am suggesting these people because are likely to deserve forgiveness. For example, your parents may have provided you with food and shelter all your life, and while they may have done wrong to you at some point, they most likely still love you. I chose these people because of this. Try to list these people as your first priority when you choose people to forgive. Forgive them for the things they have done to you, and it’ll be easier. Start from here. As you grow as a human being, you can learn to forgive more, and eventually you can forgive everybody. Just take things one step at a time.
To quit your porn addiction, there should not be any hateful feelings in your heart. You must eliminate them. When you eliminate them, you come closer to freedom. Freedom from sorrow and stress, which will give you freedom from porn. The stress and negative feelings you carry are what draw you to porn, so by eliminating them, you can rid yourself of the need for porn as well. Life will become more enjoyable if you can rid yourself of as many negative feelings as possible.
Just try to be an easygoing, fun person, and learn to enjoy, laugh, and live.
