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As you may already know, breaking a pornography addiction is not easy, and the majority of methods which claim to break a porn habit often fail.

Why is this?
As I have said earlier, I have tried many methods, and all of them failed miserably. In my understanding, the reason why these methods fail is because fundamentally, these methods use willpower as a means to break porn addiction.

The use of willpower to break pornography addiction
The majority of products out there which claim to break a pornography addiction use the method of willpower, and they advise strict actions.

These methods may work for few days, but after few days, one relapses. The strength of the relapse will be directly proportional to the efforts they made to control themselves to stay away from porn. If they put in a great effort to control themselves, then they’ll rival that with the amount of porn they end up watching for relief from such a tough challenge.

This method rarely works for breaking a pornography addiction for the majority of people. It does work for few, but for the vast majority, it simply fails.

Using the technique called “too much supply” to break pornography addiction
I have also gone through some methods which claim to break pornography addiction by using the core technique called, “too much supply”. Compared to above method, only a fraction of anti-porn materials advocate this.

In this method, the porn addict is asked to watch as much porn as they wants, and then much more. If a porn addict usually watches porn for 2 hours daily, this method advises the porn addict to watch 6 hours of porn daily. By compulsively watching porn for such a large amount of time (e.g. 6 hours),which is watching far more porn than they needed, their body creates a resistance against watching porn again. A hatred will be created towards porn in their mind. Also, the porn addict is not allowed to cease watching porn when they want. This method forces them to watch porn for a fixed amount of time. As time goes on, the hatred towards porn will increase inside the porn addict’s mind, and this hatred is used to break their pornography addiction completely. After a certain point (usually a couple of months), the porn addict is allowed to stop watching porn.

I approached this method with great hope.

This method works, but only for a limited period of time. I could resist a relapse for a much longer time than the first method of breaking a pornography addiction.

But, after a certain amount of time, a relapse occurs. Because ‘visual sex’ is a deep thing, creating hatred towards porn works only for a short time. After that, the love for porn comes back.

The ‘best’ method to break pornography addiction
I stated the two core techniques which are used by almost all of anti-porn materials above. All materials use these methods. The only difference is that they use it differently, and in different combination. However, the fundamentals are the same. One anti-porn material may tell you to install a porn filtering software, and another may tell you to divert your thoughts to other things. The fundamentals are same. Both are telling you to use willpower or force to break a pornography addiction, which fall in first category I mentioned.

After wasting lots of time by experimenting with these methods, I realized that these methods will never free me from porn. I was desperate to find a solution. I tried to buy into it, so I can use other people’s experience and findings, but unfortunately I found NONE.

I thought a lot, and I investigated a lot. I read all the psychology books I could find. But, even after researching a lot, I found no clear idea on how to effectively break a pornography addiction.

Finally, I decided to study other people, the people who are not porn addicts. I researched their lifestyles and their stress coping methods. How do they manage without porn? This was my question for years and I observed them a lot. This study gave me some interesting findings and I tried to use these methods in my personal life. Finally, I discovered how it worked.

I observed and studied both the lives of a porn addict and a person who is not. I used ordinary people as sort of test subjects. Luckily, I was also a counselor for years, so reading into people was not tough.

I found that there are certain “root causes”, which differentiate a non-porn addict from a porn-addict. I also found that there is no way to break a pornography addiction without eliminating these root causes. I experienced a significant difference in my attitude towards porn while eliminating these root causes.

I practiced these findings, and this experimentation with myself gave me lots of new insights.

Ultimately, this experimentation made me a 100% porn free person. It gave me a great sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. This is what led me to start quitporn.net. What I post here is my past journals, in which I wrote years back when I experiment with different methods.

Stay tuned. Bookmark this site and keep visiting. You’ll get true, authentic gems from here.

What’s our first response when someone asks to forgive someone?

“Forgiving somebody? Oh, no. I’d rather come out better than him, or get revenge. Forgiving someone is what a loser would do. I am certainly not going to forgive him, instead, I want revenge. I’ll hang on to this hatred until he bows his head to me.”

This is the usual response when we tell someone to forgive someone else, or are asked personally for forgiveness. However, because forgiveness is often thought of as “weak”, people tend to assume you’d be a loser to go along with it.

Understanding Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a not a weakness. Forgiveness is the most courageous action one can take to solve a problem or an issue. But only very intelligent understands this. The real loser is the one who never forgive. He carries all the negativity in his heart which destroys him like fire destroys wood.

Have you ever observed a person who does not forgive, and who constantly sulks in their negative feelings? Have you observed a person who is lighthearted and takes things easy, and who doesn’t hesitate to forgive? Who lives better? The people who carry hatred usually attract very little love, and they usually replace this with drugs, alcohol, or pornography.

The lighthearted person forgives and lives a sane, gentle life. They do not need porn or drugs to find happiness, as they have no negative feelings to form a need for it. They have no hateful feelings to bear, so they can live easily, unhindered.

The general perception about forgiveness is that when we forgive, we are losing. This is not true. When you are forgiving, you are winning.

Forgiving Intelligently
Forgiving everybody requires great wisdom and courage. However, you may not believe you are capable just yet. Start by forgiving your closest allies first, like your parents, siblings, neighbors, etc. I am suggesting these people because are likely to deserve forgiveness. For example, your parents may have provided you with food and shelter all your life, and while they may have done wrong to you at some point, they most likely still love you. I chose these people because of this. Try to list these people as your first priority when you choose people to forgive. Forgive them for the things they have done to you, and it’ll be easier. Start from here. As you grow as a human being, you can learn to forgive more, and eventually you can forgive everybody. Just take things one step at a time.

To quit your porn addiction, there should not be any hateful feelings in your heart. You must eliminate them. When you eliminate them, you come closer to freedom. Freedom from sorrow and stress, which will give you freedom from porn. The stress and negative feelings you carry are what draw you to porn, so by eliminating them, you can rid yourself of the need for porn as well. Life will become more enjoyable if you can rid yourself of as many negative feelings as possible.

Just try to be an easygoing, fun person, and learn to enjoy, laugh, and live.

Your capacity to deal with the temptation to view porn is vital to your success to quit porn addiction. It starts from there, from the initial temptation. Most often porn addicts can’t resist this temptation, and then later they procrastinate about their lack of will-power.

First you have to understand this, quitting porn is not a game of will-power, if you deal it with your will-power and you force yourself to resist the temptation to watch porn, you’ll end up watching more porn.

Don’t resist yourself from watching porn, and don’t commit yourself that you’ll not watch porn from this night or so. It’ll not work. Because porn addiction is a very subtle affair and it should be dealt with care and caution, otherwise you can’t quit pornography, the roots of pornography in you are that much strong.

The first step is to understand the ‘real power’ of porn.

Understanding the enemy before fight is very important factor for anybody who goes to a fight. One who underestimates his opponent just fails. Same happens with porn, if you underestimate the power of porn, you just fail to quit porn.

I am not making you afraid. I am just reminding you that it needs great efforts to quit porn completely. Many people say quitting porn is easy. It’s not.

Understanding this fact will help you to forgive yourself more. Now you are aware that you are losing to a powerful enemy. This will help you to throw away your self-condemnation.

This is very important. Allow yourself more time to cure. Be realistic and don’t be angry at yourself if you fail. You’ll fail few times in the attempts to quit porn addiction. Its OK. But if you become desperate to it, then it’ll only make your situation worse.

So be patient. Understand the reality instead of blaming your willpower. This is the first step.

I’ll discuss the next steps in later articles.

We often get back to porn when we get disappointed at something. Our first reaction to disappointment is to watch porn so we get relieved. We break our commitments in this time.

Disappointment motivates to watch porn again.

We all know this, and think sometimes to take action against it, but when another disappointment comes, we break into porn again.

How to deal with it?
To deal with, there are 2 ways

• Don’t get disappointed.
• Don’t watch porn when get disappointed.

Both are tough, and you cannot choose only one strategy, you have to combine both.

Take first one, as human beings, we get disappointed, it’s a natural phenomenon, we get disappointed, it’s human thing, but when one get more competent in life skills, one learns to reduce disappointments. Or one learns to deal with disappointments in such a way that he get disappointed rarely than usual. There are ways to reduce our disappointments. One has to learn it, when one become emotionally intelligent and competent, lesser things can create disappointment in him

How to achieve such kind of emotional mastery so lesser and lesser things create disappointments? There are methods. I’ll tell you the ways I practice in later posts.

Now take the second thing, don’t watch porn when you get disappointed.

This is easier than first one. But still tough, it’ll not easy with your long term developed porn habit. But it’s possible if you care yourself.

Before telling the strategies, I remember you understand the first principle. You must keep respect to the power of porn; this will help you manage yourself well.

You have to find your next best entertainment to porn which makes you happy, something like watching movies, listening to music, posting to forums, tech, computer games… anything which is not porn and makes you happy.

Do this activity whenever you get disappointed. Don’t think much. Just do. So next time when you get disappointed, go to movie, listen to music, and eat good food… do something other than porn which is not the thing you hate. But if disappointment is too strong, you sometimes break into porn. this is OK. But try to do other things and don’t blame yourself if you break into porn.

If you practice this, you find that your porn time reducing, maybe the reduction is 10 minutes, it’s a reduction. Appreciate it, practice consistently; you see a good drop in your porn time. Remember; don’t blame yourself if you break into porn sometimes. It’s OK, put practice this, over time, this tactic will reduce your porn time a lot.

I’ll talk about next things later.

As I discussed in earlier post, negative thoughts play a vital role to keep us glued with porn. So how do we deal with it?

The solution to deal with negative emotion is easy, but it’s not very easy when you start dealing with it, one has to be extremely alert. And it’s not going to happen quickly. It’s an art, it needs its own time, but if you can deal with your negative emotions and thoughts, you have a quite good competitive edge.

One has to watch the thoughts he is having, To deal effectively with negative emotions, one should know little about the working of brain and a factors of human motivation. Here I’ll discuss one of the reasons of negative thoughts, Its nothing but the ambitions one have, Unfortunately its true, our ambitions counters us.

How desires and ambitions counter us?
What is wrong with desires and ambitions? We all told in childhood about greatness of ambitions, importance of having big desires, about the people with great ambitions, we all even told that ambitions and desires makes a man.

I am not opposing this analogy, it’s true, but only partially true, desires and ambitions are needed to get ahead in life, meet challenges, create success etc… But there are a downside to it, did you observed about what happens when we have big desires and ambitions?

Desires and ambitions create stress in ourselves, and if you are very dedicated to your desires, then anything that goes against your desire make you stressed, and the hard work to attain the desires also make you stressed, and when you get very stressed, from where you get relief?

The people who haven’t developed good and constructive methods to cope stress will have to find some means to get relief from stress, and unfortunately in our society, only few people got constructive coping skills, where the rest go to relieve the stress? They have to find some means to relax themselves. In this situation, porn becomes the perfect partner for them.

Porn is a very easy and affordable way to find happiness, Body produces chemicals when watching porn which can equate to real sex, so one gets extremely happy by the sensations porn provides, and he watches porn until he get his stress relieved, the duration to get the same level of satisfaction increases with time. And one needs better stuff to satisfy oneself every time.

So a person who is very ambitious is more likely to get addicted to porn than a person with fewer ambitions. The person with more desires is more likely to get addicted to porn than a person with average desires.

Remedy – Reduce your ambitions and desires.
Yes. Reduce it, big ambitions and big desires keep a person always stressed, and stress takes one to porn, more porn=more stress, because of the bad effects of porn. So time for porn gets increased day by day, leaving a man totally incompetent than a person with less ambitions.

So reduce ambitions and desires, be very sense full with your desires, it will help you to reduce the time for porn and ultimately help you to lead a better life.

I’ll discuss more strategies to deal with negativity in later posts.

Many people think to quit porn addiction, but they move back to porn again, there are many triggers that makes one move again to porn, here I discuss about one scenario, this scenario happens majority of times (in my case)

• I have some goals, or want to improve life.
• Some negative things happens, things are not coming in the way which is desired, I gets thoughts like the goals are not easily achievable. people who addicted to porn(or anything) tends to be more sensitive. So an emotional trigger happens.
• Get depressed with that.
• Negative thoughts keep on coming, like fear of failure or lack of confidence to accomplish something.
• I tries to resist the negative emotions.
• Negative thoughts keep on coming in regular intervals.
• Negative emotion wins! I gets caught by negative emotions (or fear of failure).
• When I think about the reality, it seem tough, so again stress comes, so negative emotions.
• I get frustrated.
• To escape from this frustration, I move towards porn reluctantly.
• I Watch porn long long hours to get rid of frustration.

This is what happens usually with me that makes me go again to porn, there are other triggers which makes me to go to porn again (may discuss later), but this happens more often.
What is the remedy to this?
I have thought about many things, and some things are working, In later post, I’ll discuss about those which is effective against porn addiction.
Stopping now!

One of the main reasons which cause stress in our daily life is adjustment problems with others and events. Adjustment problems with others are like husband can’t adjust with wife, Son can’t adjust with dad… etc… Adjustment problems with events are like employee can’t adjust with a job change, dad can’t adjust with new child birth etc…

Many people consistently have adjustment problems with others. Wherever they go, something they find unadjustable, they start complaining about it and feel depressed by it. These people actually are a trouble to others also. They do not notice it and they are not doing intentionally, they can’t simply adjust. Actually they are not the culprits. Adjustment problem is a mental illness which most often needs therapy.

There must be many factors which created their inability of adjustment. Maybe they are traumatized by somebody in the childhood so they have problems to ‘Trust’ others. Or they may be pampered by the parents so he/she expect the same from others also. Or they simply never had much socializing in childhood. The reasons can be many.

Living with adjustment problem is like living in hell, the stronger the adjustment problems are, the harder life can be. And curing this problem most often needs a third person or a therapy. So if you suffer from adjustment problems of any sort, great chances are there that the problem is yours. It may be with you in your subconscious mind. You may be not realizing it. So what I advice is to consult a psychiatrist.
Adjustment problems create deep stress. Many go to porn to cope with it and ignore it. This is very bad coping, So in the path of quitting from porn addiction, you must check yourself whether you experience any major adjustment issues or not. If so act fast and cure it, otherwise quitting porn can be much more times tougher.

Some people know the art of adjusting with others very easily. The common qualities I have seen in these people is patience, optimism and trust in others. So you must also cultivate these qualities. Rather than getting angry faster, or getting stressed faster, just try to be more patient and be optimistic. A psychiatrist or a loved one can help you very much to overcome this adjustment problem, if you can overcome this; you removed a big block from your path to quit pornography addiction.

If you think that you don’t have adjustment issues as big as to consult a doctor, but have little, then you have to analyze the issues and create some strategies to cope with it. Like avoiding the stressors or using positive strategies to overcome it and solve it.

It’s important to minimize these adjustment problems. Solve it. It can do wonders in your life.

There is a music troup named ‘Secret Garden’. I used to like their songs in the past, I loved them, good music.

You maybe wondering why I talk about music here.

I am not talking about music. I am talking about the very thing ‘Secret Garden’. Its a wonderful thing and humans are fascinated by it all the time. How wonderful ‘Secret Garden’ can be. Without any stress, without any pain, without any hassle, just relax in the garden with absolutely no disturbance. Life in ‘Secret Garden’ will be awesome. This is the concept of very heaven. Heaven is picturised as a garden. Garden without any troubles, worries, needs, responsibilities… only provide joy and joy and joy…

But what is the world we now live in?

Is this a secret garden? Or the opposite of it?

Unfortunately the world we live in is not a secret garden, Simply its not.

Here you see people with filth, greed, envy, back-stab… all the COOL things are here. I am not telling everybody are like this, but there are quite good percentage of people who dont mind hurting others, a good number of people who are just mad so they give sorrow to others, there are terrorists, racists… all kinds of people.

So secret garden is not possible in this world. But many does not accept this reality. What they need is secret garden, and of-course they have a secret garden, the ‘Porn room’. Just provide joy, joy and joy…

Porn addicts are addicted to comfort too. They’ll never go out from their comfort zones, they avoid people who are a little challenging to them. A little uncomfortable to them… they do the work as boss say and go to home immediately after the work and stick the head into porn. They just dont take challenges, because challenges are not secret garden.

In ‘Porn room’, nobody come to disturb them. They are just in ecstacy in that secret garden, and what they need is repetition. Humans tend to like joy and avoid sorrow. All the time they like to stay in secret garden than going out to see the hell. By and by the person lose interest to go to work, lose competitiveness. Even ability to do normal things other people do, they just love their secret garden more and more.

The secret garden actually ruin their lives slowly until they start losing valuable things by it. Each day pass, they dig into it more. More into porn room, Making hard to climb up. Hard to quit porn addiction.

To overcome this, one should understand a fact, “Secret garden is just not possible in this present reality. Whatever one is, One must learn to deal with insanity”.

Yes. Life contain lots of things you may not like, whoever you are (President or beggar), you should learn to deal with it, there is no escape.

Don’t avoid the problems, dont even think about avoiding problems, but learn to deal with it. deal it in its best possible way. Each time you deal with a problem, you get strong. You should make this as a habit, deal with problems and solve it. Solve it ‘for the good of all’. Not just for you. Take time, work hard, solve your problems one by one, as life goes;you get more and more problems, you solve more and more problems, you become stronger and stronger. This give you certain joy, overcoming challenges give you certain joy. Enjoy it and grow up.

Accept the way world is. To live in this world, you should be a master of dealing with insanity, Insanity come to you, you make it sane. At least you’ll make sure you dont get insane by it.

It needs great strength of character. Build it.

Its much wiser than ‘Secret Garden’. It increase your value with time.

So from now onwards, instead of going to your own ‘Secret Garden’, think about meeting a challenge. By and by you become strong.

Life will be different when become strong.

• Clear thinking;
• Breathe better;
• Smoother mood transitions;
• Sharper mental dexterity;
• More articulate;
• Better memory;
• Working through stress more effectively;
• Increased energy levels;
• Reduced depression ;
• Deeper interactions with others;
• Improved integrity;
• Boosted confidence;
• No social anxiety;
• Better focus on task at hand;
• Enjoying simple pleasures more deeply;
• Increased faith in ability to control negative mental triggers ;
• No risk of arrest or legal troubles;
• Increased joy;\
• Renewed self-respect;
• More free time;
• Need to sleep less;
• More free cash;
• Confidence to try new things;
• Increased humility:
• Asking others for help;
• Better partnership with girlfriend;
• Better ability to learn and remember new things and new ‘songs’;
• Can travel without paranoia of border checks;
• No worries about of being found by somebody;
• Not supporting organized crime;
• True bonds with friends;
• Better fitness level;
• New doors opening to spiritual world
• Confidence to take on any task
• Ability to strike up conversation with anyone I choose without fear or insecurity;
• No paranoia;
• Increased motivation for self-improvement;
• Feeling of wholeness that is not reliant on an external source ;
• Not being enslaved by the need for porn;
• No more feeling guilty;
• Saving time;
• Communicating more;
• Renewed sense to sensations;
• So much more energy than before ;
• Deeper philosophical thinking;
• Way more patience;
• Increased brainpower and mental endurance;
• Regain of focus to finish one job before starting the next one;
• Waking up in the morning feeling rested;
• The return of wit;
• Improved ability to relate:
• Regain of job satisfaction;
• Stronger mental control over moods and thought processes;
• Better crisis management;
• Experiencing natural highs;
• The ability to inspire other people;
• The development of healthy habits;
• A sharper mental game;
• Increased muscle tone;
• Heightened sense of humor;
• More love towards life;
• Better response to emotionally charged situations;
• Renewed sense of life, waking up to greet the morning sun and air;
• Easier to get out of bed;
• Development of mature, competent coping mechanisms;
• Feeling in control always;
• A stronger sense of optimism about life;
• Being better at controlling other aspects of life, like cooking, exercising etc.
• Improved quality of work;
• More present for family and friends;
• More agility and awareness;
• No need to worry about porn;
• I am not constantly craving something every time I get bored or stressed;
• Better health, less sickness;
• Reduced anger;
• Better communication of feelings;
• Dramatic improvement of self-esteem;
• Being more interesting person;
• Clearer memories;
• More laughs;
• No panic attacks;
• Feeling of more freedom;
• Better teamwork;
• Reduced anxiety;
• No more eye strain or need of eye drops;
• Reduced paper tissue consumption;
• The joy of making things happen and being powerful;
• Enjoying the daylight and sunlight;
• Enjoying the observation of lives around;
• Better emotional health;
• Emotional energy savings;
• Feeling intense emotions without being ruled by them;
• Strength to keep going when the going gets tough;
• Joy of keeping promises;
• Enjoyment of the relaxed mental state;
• Improved courage;
• Reduced desk clutter;
• Increased trust;
• Joy of sharing;
• Success.